Major update! Someone had steered me wrong over at Dell but I am certainly at fault as well. The in/out ports on my monitor are not RCA but simply 3.5mm stereo standard!! Loss of one stereo channel is a non-issue! I rummaged around in my basement and came up with the appropriate male-to-male cable and hooked it up and voila, stereo sound emits from my monitor's built-in speakers. The quality kinda stinks so I may just continue using my higher-end detached speakers even though they do have a considerable footprint.
I thank everyone so very very much. This issue can now be presumed closed.
I thank everyone so very very much. This issue can now be presumed closed.