I used to think I was just a regular person, but I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist.
I am heterosexual, which now makes me a homophobe.
I am mostly non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
I was christened by my parents (who were married, in a church and remained married until they died), which now labels me as an infidel.
I am retired, which makes me useless.
I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.
I am proud of my heritage, which makes me a xenophobe.
I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.
I (and most of the folks I know), acquired a fair education without student loan debts and little or no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of an odd underachiever.
I believe in the defence and protection of my country for and by all citizens and I honour those who served in the Armed Forces, which now makes me a right wing-militant.
Please help me come to terms with the new me… because I'm just not sure who the hell I am anymore!
Funny …it’s all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years!
As if all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with ... now I’m not even sure which toilet to go into!
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